Four steps to getting over anger.


The first full week of the New Year was not my best. I was still getting over the flu, medical expenses were piling up, and my car broke down right before I went to work. On top of that, my bank account was BLEEDING. Talk about a great way to start the New Year.


I spent both Monday & Tuesday crying and upset wondering why the hell is this happening to me. I already had a not so good 2014 and 2015 just started.

Can God cut me some slack?
courtesy of giphy.com

courtesy of giphy.com

Later that Tuesday evening, God must've heard me because I found some relief. I was able to get my car fixed so I can go to work doing the closing shift, my best friend helped me out financially, and some of my medical expenses were put on hold until a later date. When God hears you, HE HEARS YOU. And when He shows up, He shows out.


But after all this, I started to realize that I need a better way to deal with my problems. Most times I complain and just let it go, hoping it all works out, because I don't want to wallow in my sadness. I'm a good wallflower so anytime something bad happens, I get mad (and I mean real mad) and then just be like fuck this shit and go about my day. But that doesn't work all the time and to be honest, I'm not even sure that method works at all.


So here are the four steps to getting over anger in your situation:


1. Vent About It 


This is necessary because you need express your feelings. Holding it all in does you no good and only to build up. I'm a pretty private person so I'm particular about who I vent to. Sometimes I don't vent to anyone at all, which is not helpful. But there are many ways to get those feelings out. You can talk to a friend. Blog or write about it. Tweet about it (careful on what you say on social media though). Have a talk with God about it. I hear He's a really good listener. Or you can silently cry to yourself about it like I normally do. Whatever you choose, let those feelings out. Try not to over vent. You don't need to tell everyone you see because that makes it harder for you to get over it. I suggest venting no more than twice. After that, let it go.


2. Find 3 Positives in the Situation


When you're angry, the last thing you want to do is to look at the bright side. You may even believe there isn't a bright side. But every situation has one. It may not be obvious. The bright light might be subtle but it is there. In the midst of all your frustration, find 3 good things that can come out of the situation. What are the upsides? What can you learn? What good is this situation? For me, when all that stuff was happening to me, I looked at the bright side between cries. At least I had the money to get my car fixed. I was able to switch shifts with someone and still make it to work. My best friend came through for me in way that I'm beyond thankful for. After doing that, I realized this wasn't so bad. It could always be worst. And if it is worse for you, just know you have no other choice but to go up from there.

3. Affirmative Prayer and Gratitude

As I said previously, it can always be worse so it is important to be grateful that it's not. Be thankful and know that you can get through this. God will not give you anything you cannot handle. It may not seem like you can't handle it but you can and will. After venting out your gripes and finding the positive, it is imperative that you create an affirmative prayer. You need to create a positive statement, in the present tense, that you can say to yourself. Positive statements cancels out the negative. It doesn't have to be long or drawn out. It could be something simple such as: Let thy will be done in this situation; Divine love is now in control & all is well; everything works out in my favor for the highest good of all; I am healed and restored through the power of Christ (my personal favorite). Whether you use these or create your own, conclude it with a thank you. Let it go and let God take care or the rest.

4. Do Something That Makes You Feel Good


After completing the first 3 steps, you should already start feeling better than you were. The weights of the world should be in the process of lifting off your shoulders. You should be able to breathe a little lighter. To continue that feeling, do something for yourself that makes you feel awesome. It could be shopping (just buy one thing or two! Don't go overboard), listening to your favorite songs, watching your favorite TV shows, eating a good meal (my personal favorite), or just taking a good nap (the GOAT if you ask me). Do something that will bring instant happiness. Your situation may not be solved right away but at least you're feeling good. And when you feel good, you do good. And when you do good, more good comes to you.
 


Soleil Santana is an inspirational blogger and a mental health advocate. She is also a spiritual coach helping others create peace and prosperity in their lives through God. A New York native, Santana holds a Master's in counseling and currently resides in Charlotte, NC. Follow her on Twitter or IG