This past week was National Suicide Week. It’s a time where many in the mental health community celebrate the survivors and those who support them. All week, I had an internal battle about what it means to be a “survivor.” There were so many statistics and advice thrown around and, at the end, was the recurring message. "It will be okay".
I shutter at the thought of everything being "okay". The toughest battle you will ever fight will be with the woman in the mirror. Half of my mind tells me it will be "okay" while the other half has a funny way of reminding me how difficult life can be. I know how it feels to wake up in the morning, stare at the ceiling, and just ask God “Why?”
Why am I going through this?
Why can’t I shake this feeling?
Why am I here?
Why can’t I just be happy?
As a survivor, how can I tell everyone it is okay when in reality it is not always “okay”. Mental wellness is truly a journey. It always feels like the world is crumbling at your feet just when life begins to feel normal.
But when we most need them, the universe gives answers. I started thinking about all of this when “Rise Up” by Andra Day came on. It truly was like everything I felt wrapped up into one song. The message that stuck with me the most was….
“I’ll Rise Up”
No matter how many times I went to bed crying or just thought of dying I would always Rise Up and face the day. No matter how many times I lie in bed with my body paralyzed with grief and pain, I would always Rise Up.
In the midst of celebrating life, perseverance, and, hope. I will leave you all with this.
“We will rise. All we need is hope and for that we have each other. We will rise up and we will do it a thousand times again.”-Andra Day
Tiffany is a self care and mental health blogger and creator of blaqueandblue.com. She travels the country empowering women of color to speak openly about mental health in their communities. She loves to travel and is an avid supporter of all things #BlackGirlMagic.